Bad, Bad Blogger

I wonder if I will ever be a good blogger.

I wonder if I will ever lose this damn weight.

I wonder if I will ever get more than 4 hours of sleep at night again.

Eric is back on 3rd shift. It is seriously stressing me out. He lost his job in mid-January, and started this job on February 1st, so he doesn't get a lot of choice in the matter. I'm trying to deal with it, trying to just be thankful that he has a job, but I find myself in a constant state of "poor me" and I can't break free from it. I can't get to bed at a decent hour when he's not here. It really brings up an anxiety in me that I can't explain. I can't get back on my meds because we have no medical insurance... Thank God my kids are able to get Medicaid for the time being, but Eric and I have nothing. Hopefully Eric will get hired in soon (he's through a temp agency right now) and we will have insurance in the next couple of months. And when he gets hired in his hourly pay will go up by about $5 an hour, so looking forward to that :)

So for about the last 2 months I have been eating without much thought, and not working out on any kind of schedule. I seem to be thrown off track so easily. I haven't gained anything, surprisingly. I managed to get to Curves today and I weighed myself, so I know the numbers aren't going up. But I feel bigger. My face looks puffier, and my pants fit a bit more snug than they used to. I know that I'm dehydrated pretty much constantly, and that is a good bit due to drinking way too much coffee every day, trying to compensate for so little sleep. I can't see myself giving up the coffee, so I guess I should try to throw back a glass of water every now and then in between... I've tried that before, with little success, so we'll see, LOL...

I have been trying to take more pictures, it makes me happy, but I'm struggling with a lack of subjects. My daughter is getting sick of being my model, I think, LOL... I did take some Easter pics of my friend's daughter for her, and they didn't come out too bad... I don't try to pretend that I'm a professional, by any means, but hopefully with time and practice I will get better...